Stay, Stay, Stay
by TheoAirplane
Summary: When a new girl joins the Penguins medical team she's not what anyone would have expected, especially not superstar Sidney Crosby.
1. Chapter 1

I had long given up worrying about other people's opinions the day I walked into my new job. So much of my life had already been wasted trying to please everyone. While my vow to live for myself was still new, it seemed to be working out in my favour. I'd quit my job working for a private fitness centre after one too many ignorant comments from my boss and that same day applied for one of the most coveted jobs in the city, a spot on the medical team for the Pittsburgh Penguins. I did't think I had any chance of getting it, I was only a few years removed from school, had no experience in hockey and was female. But apparently I was wrong. The man in charge of hiring me told me the club was looking for a female who could hold own in a group of loud hockey players. Having grown up with three older brothers I was definitely comfortable around groups of young men.

My first day as a member of the Penguins Hockey Club I woke up before my alarm, anxious for what the day would bring. Part of me was expecting to arrive only to find it was all a hoax. I tried to stay in the shower longer than usual in hopes of calming myself down, but I was too worried about what I would wear to enjoy the hot water on my skin. I got out of the shower and continued my morning routine, I wrapped my hair in a towel, dried my body off with another one and began moisturizing my heavily inked skin. I'd gotten my first tattoo the day I turned eighteen and since then had developed quite a collection of colourful and unique pieces that covered both of my arms, part of my chest and shoulders and were creeping down to my thighs. They were the main reason I didn't work in a hospital or community care facility, the public seemed to have some strange idea that my tattoos affected my ability to treat and care for them. When I'd made sure every part of my body was slathered in vanilla scented lotion I made my way to my closet. The head of the medical team had told me to wear whatever I was comfortable in on days when we didn't have a game. I sifted through my collection of cotton day dresses and decided I didn't want to look like I was trying to hard, instead I opted for high waisted black skinny jeans, a red and white stripped t-shirt and a black cardigan, I wanted to have something to cover my arms so I could slowly ease the people around me into my tattoos, history had suggested that people tended to be more accepting if they didn't see all of them right away. It wasn't that I cared what they thought, but I did care about my job. My long black hair pulled into a high ponytail, my bangs laying straight across my forehead and my make up carefully applied I was ready to go. The nerves had yet to subside and I reckoned that they wouldn't any time in the near future.

When I arrived at the rink I was immediately introduced to Coach Dan Blysma. He seemed like a kind man and offered to give me a tour of the facility. He took me through the offices pointing out the important ones I'd need to remember and introduced me to a number of trainers and business people involved with the organization. When we got to the main gym area it was empty, Dan explained that there was mandatory skate that afternoon, so most of the boys wouldn't be in until that afternoon. The gym was beautiful, it had an assortment of different equipment that looked brand new, along with televisions mounted on almost ever wall and mirrors from floor to ceiling. Through the gym we made our way to the dressing room. It looked like most of the arena dressing rooms i'd been in, with stalls and benches along the walls and team colours everywhere. As Dan was telling me a little bit more about the team a tall man with dark hair walked in dressed in gym clothes. I instantly knew who he was, but didn't let on that I was slightly starstruck.

"Perfect timing." Dan exclaimed, motioning for the man to join us. "Beatrice, I'd like to you meet our captain Sidney Crosby. Sid, this is Beatrice Keller, she's joining the medical team."  
"It's nice to meet you." The man held out his hand. "Welcome to the team."


	2. Chapter 2

My first meeting with the Pens captain left me a bit weak in the knees. I'd never been one to get excited over people who were in the spotlight, or so called celebrities, but I'd never shaken hands with one of modern hockey's most legendary players until that day. Our conversation was brief and afterwards Dan was summoned to meet with the general manager. I made my way back to the medic offices, searching for a bathroom on my way. I got lost twice and ended up back in the dressing room. I couldn't cross my legs any tighter and snuck into one of the stalls. In typical twenty-first century fashion I pulled out my phone while my bladder did it's thing. I had to tell someone about my encounter with Sidney Crosby.

_**Bea**__  
You'll never guess who I just met_

I sent the message to my three older brothers.

_**John**__  
Who?_

_**Simon**__  
The Queen?_

_**Andrew**__  
Why are you texting me before noon? I thought we talked about this._

_**Bea**__  
Simon, where would I possibly meet the Queen in Pennsylvania? Andy, it's 11:30am, close enough._

_**John**__  
Would you please tell us who you met, B?_

_**Andrew**__  
Noon means noon guys. But tell me anyway, I don't like waiting._

_**Bea**__  
SC 87_

_**Simon**__  
Is that some new text lingo? I can't keep up with you kids._

_**Andrew**__  
Isn't that Crosby's brand name?_

_**Bea**__  
10 points to Andrew. Simon you're an idiot._

_**John**__  
Shit! How did you meet him? Did you tell him we're all Flyers fans?_

_**Bea**__  
Why would I tell him I'm a Philly fan? And I didn't want to tell you guys until everything was settled but I quit the gym and got a new job working for a hockey team._

_**Andrew**__  
Quit? Why?_

_**Simon**__  
What kind of hockey team?_

_**Bea**__  
Because I was sick of the bullshit. A well known hockey team. Their logo is some penguin_

_**John**__  
You're working for the enemy?_

_**Andrew**__  
Holy shit kid! Congratulations!_

_**Simon**__  
Are you kidding right now?_

I heard someone come into the locker room.

_**Bea**__  
Not kidding, not the enemy, it's a good job. Which I should go do instead of texting you losers. xo_

_**Simon**__  
Give 'em hell kid!_

_**Andrew**__  
Bring one home for Thanksgiving will ya. Well done Trix!_

_**John**__  
Pictures ASAP. Lol. xo_

I locked my phone, pulled up my pants and flushed the toilet. I made sure my zipper was zipped and took a deep breath. I washed my hands and double checked my appearance in the mirror, making sure there was no red lipstick on my teeth and my sleeves were pulled down. When I left the bathroom and turned the corner I came face to face with three men, all in various states of undress.

"Oh shit!" I cried covering my eyes with my hand. "I am so sorry. I couldn't find another bathroom and I didn't think anyone would be here until later." I sputtered, trying to heading towards the door.

"Don't worry about it." One of the men said in an amused tone, he had a thick accent that I recognized to be from Quebec. "You must be Beatrice?" He asked walking towards me. I kept my left hand covering my eyes and put out my right to shake his.

"I am." I replied smiling, still not looking at him. He shook my hand gently and I could hear the other men laughing.

"Marc-Andre" he said. "You can uncover your eyes Beatrice, Beau put his pants on."  
I lowered my hand from my eyes and smiled at the men in front of me. I was educated enough in the world of professional hockey to know who they all were. Rookie Beau Bennett, goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury, and Russian forward Evgeni Malkin. I felt my cheeks getting hot and was about to formally introduce myself when the door flung open.

"Beatrice." Dan said walking towards me. "There you are. I thought you might have gotten lost." He smiled placing a firm hand on my shoulder. I smiled at him and watched more of the team, along with trainers and the other medics come into the room. I'd already met the other medics, four older men who had been polite, but didn't seem eager to talk to me during our first encounter.

Once the team, both players and staff, had arrived, Dan introduced me and suggested I say a few words.  
"I'm Beatrice Keller." I began. "But please feel comfortable calling me Bea. I was born and raised in Prince Edward Island, Canada, I graduated two years ago from Penn State with my masters in Sports Medicine and I look forward to working with all of you, but hopefully not too often." I tried to remain calm and composed. I was generally okay talking to large groups but I was acutely aware that I was the only female in the room, and while I'd prepared myself for that reality it was going to take some getting used to.

We left Dan and the team to get ready for their practice and sat in the medical offices. The head doctor, Larry, was for more welcoming than the rest of the medical team and went over everything I'd need to know. He assured me that I'd get the hang of it quickly and in no time it would all become second nature. I would be training under him and a senior medic behind the bench. The teams version of first response. We spent the rest of the day going over procedures and protocols while the team practiced and by the time I got home my mind was full of information and my eyes were heavy with exhaustion. But, I couldn't sleep, I was too excited about what was to come.


	3. Chapter 3

Two days after my first encounter with the team I'd be stitching and bandaging for what I hoped would be many seasons, I experienced my first game day. I'd gotten to know everyone better and the other medics were coming around. I'd met nearly all the men individually and was well on my way to feeling comfortable.

I arrived at the rink several hours before puck drop dressed in khaki pants and an official Penguins apparel which consisted of a black short sleeve golf shirt that fit quite nicely and a black team jacket that I carried over my arm. My hair was pulled into a bun on the top of my head and the make-up under the thick black frames of my glasses was simple, exchanging red lipstick for milk and honey Chapstick. I made my way to the medical room smiling at players as I passed. Inside the room Pascal Dupuis and Sid sat on exam tables talking candidly about their days.

"Hey Beatrice," Pascal called as I walked in, his accent, like Marc-Andre's was distinctly French. "Are you excited for your first game?" He asked as I set my coat and purse down on one of the desks and made my way towards them.

"I am." I smiled, rubbing sanitizing lotion onto my hands. "And I told you guys to call me Bea. Beatrice is my grandmother."

"Of course," he laughed.

"Are you waiting for someone or is there something I can help you with?" I asked, scanning the room for my coworkers.

"Dave went to get more tape, but Sid just got here." Pascal replied, referring to one of the other medics. "I didn't realize you have so many tattoos." He looked at my bare arms curiously. It was the first time I didn't have my arms covered.

"Oh, yeah." I smiled. "I have more." I pulled up one of my sleeves revealing a giant sunflower.

"Beautiful," Pascal remarked looking closely.

"Anyway, where does it hurt?" I let the short sleeve fall and turned to Sidney.

"My right shoulder is stiff, I think I did something in practice earlier." He replied pulling off his shirt, revealing his solid, sculpted upper body. I told myself to be calm, that this was my job and his body was just like any other body I'd worked on, the only difference was his helped him make millions of dollars and was jacked.

"Do you mind?" I asked, motioning towards his shoulder.

"Not at all," he sat up straighter.

I ran my hand over his smooth and strong shoulder, again trying to calm my mind and body from their excitement. I ran my hand along its curve, from his neck down, and then from the front to the back. It felt tender, but nothing to be alarmed over.

"I think you've just tweaked your trapezius, which is far more painful than it is serious. I did the same thing a few months ago and..." I trailed off realizing that I was rambling.

"I kind of figured." He smiled at me for the first time that day. Little lines forming next to his eyes.

"I can probably massage some of the stiffness out, other than that we'll put some deep heat on it and hope it works itself out." I suggested, my hand shaking slightly.

"It's worth a try." Sidney smiled again and went to go lay on his back.

"Actually, it's probably better if I kneel behind you," I spat out nervously, remembering a specific technique I'd learned in a massage therapy class.

"Sure." Sidney sat back up. "Is that a... sexy zombie?" He asked, grabbing my left arm as I was about to move behind him.

"Yeah, a pin-up." I laughed nervously, looking at my forearm in his hand, the green coloured zombie on a a purple background, posed like a classic pinup staring back at us.

"That's really cool," he ran his fingers over the image. "The detail is so precise."

"I should hope so," I laughed. "It took about eight hours." I didn't mention the price, it was easily one of my most expensive pieces, but also my favourite.

"You said you had other ones?" He asked looking back at my face. "Where are they?"

My arm was still in his hands, he'd turned it over and was looking at the other tattoos that had all blended into a sleeve. "My shoulders, hips and onto my thighs." I hadn't notice Pascal leave, Sidney and I were alone in the room.

"That's really cool," he let go of my arm and I walked behind him, climbing onto the table and positioning myself behind his shoulder. He was taller and much bigger than I was, which made it harder to fit my hands around his whole shoulder. I had grown used to working on people bigger than me at my previous job, but Sidney was much bigger than the wealthy members of the gym I'd worked on. I straightened my back trying to gain height so I could put more of my weight into massaging the muscle. I used the heel of my hand to loosen the tissue and avoid hitting the problem area directly. Usually there was one area that was knotted, and the rest of the muscle became tense as a result. I couldn't imagine how silly I must have looked, kneeling behind a man so much bigger than me, trying to push my weight into his shoulder. When I felt the muscle start to relax and started massaging in circular motions with the tips of my fingers looking for particularly tight areas.

"How did you hurt your shoulder?" He asked breaking the silence in the room. My fingers slipped and he flinched, I'd found my tight spot.

"Sorry," I softened my touch. "I got checked in derby and landed weird."

"Derby?" He asked leaning his head to the left so I could get a better angle.

"Roller derby," I clarified, I'd forgotten that not everyone was familiar with my beloved sport.

"Wow," he replied. "I've never actually seen roller derby played."

"You should come check it out sometime," I finished up massaging his shoulder and moved it gently to see if his range of motion was any better. "How does that feel?"

"Much better," he moved his shoulder and arm in circular motions. I got off of the table, and headed towards the cabinet where I hoped to find a tube of deep heat. As I searched through the cupboards Evgeni Malkin and James Neal walked in. I thanked God that they hadn't come in earlier to witness me on the table behind Sidney.

"What's up, guys?" I asked casually, walking the tube I'd found in a drawer over to Sid.

"You look good in Penguin shirt." Malkin winked at me, his broken English endearing. "I come for icepack for knee and you for heart." He sat on the table where Pascal had been.

"Icepack I can do." I laughed and went towards to refrigerator freezer on the other side of the room. Sidney sat, still shirtless, rubbing the lotion onto his shoulder.

"Make that two," Neal called, sitting on another table. I took two ice packs from the freezer and looked for towels, finding them in a basket next the fridge.

"You have boyfriend?" Malkin asked when I handed him the cold pack wrapped in a team towel.

"Nope," I replied amused, giving Neal the other pack.

"Why not? You have girlfriend?" Maklin winked, laughing at himself.

"Not anymore," I smiled, looking at three men for a reaction. Malkin grinned, while the other two didn't react.

"You like girls?" He asked, his eyes full of excitement.

"I like people." I responded, again searching Sid's face for a reaction.

"So hot," Malkin stared at me. "You have lots of girlfriends?"

"Give her a break, Geno," Sid responded before I could answer. I smiled at him.

"Why? Just questions," Malkin shrugged his shoulders. "I want to know strange, pretty girl. Go eat sandwich Sid!" He laughed referring to what I would later learn is one of Sidney's many pre-game rituals.

My game behind the bench went much better than I had anticipated. There were no injuries that required a stretcher and the fights were kept to a minimum. My only real work was stitching up a laceration above Deryk Engelland's right eyebrow during the intermission. It was a result of the only fight the entire game, which made my job much easier. My view from the bench was like nothing I'd ever experienced. I could hear, see and smell the game on a whole new level. For some reason the other medics weren't as partial to the ice level action, Larry suggested I get comfortable with the position because out of everyone I took up the least amount of room, which was apparently a good thing.

The Penguins won 3-1 against the Phoenix Coyotes and the dressing room with abuzz with energy post-game. Even though it was a pre-season game, the boys seemed elated to have another win under their belts. From the medical room I could hear the celebration music and the loud conversations. My first game done and I knew I had the best job in the city.


	4. Chapter 4

The next two home games followed a similar fashion to the first. Injuries were minimal, nothing more than a few cuts and bruises, and the Penguins on their way to being the team to beat that season. I was getting more comfortable with my new surroundings each day, the team continued to welcome me and I was beginning to understand their peculiar dynamics and camaraderie.

The night before my first road trip I sat in my apartment trying to figure out what to pack. My best friend and roommate Serena lay on my bedroom floor while Luna, our black, high energy, cat chewed on the ends of her long blonde hair.  
"How long are you gone for?" Serena asked as I riffled through my closet.  
"A week or so" I replied, jumping to reach a sweater that was on the top shelf. "We're flying into Philly tomorrow then from there we go to New York to play the Rangers and the Islanders then we fly to Buffalo."  
"Wow," She sat up, shaking Luna from off of her hair. "That sounds intense. Are you excited?  
"Yeah, I guess," I put the sweater I was reaching for in my suitcase. "I'm kind of nervous to be honest"  
"Why?" Luna meowed and climbed onto Serena's lap.  
"No idea," I moved over to my dresser and looked through my pants. "I'm just not sure what to expect, and I'm going to be spending a week with a bunch of guys I hardly know." I pulled out two pairs of jeans and threw them on top of the sweater. I had spent some time thinking about what I would pack and decided to play it cool, opting for jeans and sweaters over my usual dresses and high waisted skirts. Not only would it be easier to pack but I didn't want to come across as high maintenance, although I suspected the people around me had better things to worry about than what their medic girl was wearing.  
"Are you going to call Millie?" Millie was part of my not so distant past. We'd dated on and off for four years while in university. We met at a party when I first moved to Philadelphia, I was twenty and had just finished my first degree in New Brunswick. I walked into the party with a guy who was good friends with my brother Andrew, who was also living in Philadelphia, and within ten minutes Millie and I were deep in conversation. Her big blue eyes and curly red hair caught my eye immediately, I was soon captivated by her energy and the curve of her hips, her breasts and the dimples that appeared when she smiled. Making her smile became my main goal that night. The reward for my hard work was her phone number and one life altering kiss, the kind that makes everything around you stop and the only thing that matters is the lips of the person you're lucky enough to be touching. After that night started dating, making it official after only a month of knowing each other. Everything about her intrigued me, from her political views to the way she bit her lip when she was trying to concentrate. Six months after making it official I got accepted to Penn State and Millie moved to University Park with me. It was the first time I'd lived with someone I was dating, and at first it was wonderful. I went to classes and she got a job a law firm. We'd come home, eat dinner, smoke weed, make love, and do it all again the next day. I can't pin point a single event that marked our demise as a couple, but we slowly started drifting away, I'd skip dinner to study at the library, leaving her home alone. Soon she'd stop coming home after work and crawl into bed after I was long asleep. We broke up before Christmas of my first year and got back together in April. Following the same cycle as before we broke up again in January of my second year, together again in August. Each time we broke up she'd sleep at a different friends' house and I'd wonder if it was worth all the hassle. Months later amnesia would hit and we'd wonder why we ever broke up, vowing to be better this time. The finale to our relationship saga came a month before I graduated from Penn State. Things had been rocky for a while and we amicably decided to part ways and call it quits. Shortly after I moved to Pittsburgh and the last I'd heard she moved back to Philadelphia.  
"That's probably not a good idea," I replied.  
"Right," Serena laughed. "You'd probably end up bringing her home with you."  
"Probably," I smiled trying to imagine Geno's reaction to Millie and I. "I think I'll stick with seeing my brother if I have time."  
"Feel free to bring him home with you," Serena winked and stood up, pushing Luna off of her lap and earning an angry meow. Serena had a long running crush on the youngest of my older brothers that had never exactly gone anywhere, much to her dismay.  
"I'll work on that." I opened my underwear drawer. "Doesn't he have a girlfriend?" If anyone knew the status of any of my brothers' relationships it was Serena, her Facebook stalking was worth of the NYPD.  
"They broke up, which makes this a prime opportunity for me to mend his broken heart with a long, exhausting night of sweaty..."  
"Enough!" I interrupted her, covering my ears with my hands.  
"Oh come on, you're telling me that if Andy wasn't your brother you wouldn't get up in that?" Her experience as an only child made it hard for her to imagine how disturbing that question was.  
"Please stop talking," I stared at her in disbelief.  
"Fine," she sighed. "Don't forget to pack something a little sexier, I mean you're about to go away for a week with a bunch of hot men, including one of the country's most eligible bachelors." She went into my closet and pulled out a tight fitting black dress with a square, low cut neck and a hemline that feel a few inches above my knee. It wasn't something I wore often, but it was easily the sexist thing in my closet.  
"I'm not packing that." I rolled my eyes at her, "besides, when would I wear it anyway?"  
"You think they don't go out after the games?" She laughed, taking the dress off of the hanger and folding it.  
"So what if they do? I'm not going to be invited." I took the folded dress from her.  
"Of course you will! You're the only woman going with them," She took the dress back from my hands. "Besides, it sounds like the like you." She placed the dress in my suitcase and went to my underwear drawer.  
"I said they were nice, not that they wanted to get under my dress." I cried.  
"Bea, every guy wants to get under your dress, in fact so do most girls." She pulled out a pair of black lace boy shorts and a matching bra that I saved for special occasions.  
"While you're doing wonders for my ego, I'd appreciate if you stopped putting the most uncomfortable but sexiest of my underwear in suitcase. The suitcase I am taking on a work trip." I watched her drop in a few pairs of silk underwear and a pushup bra.  
"You'll thank me." She winked and went over to my night stand, opening the top drawer and pulling out a handful of condoms from the jar I kept just in case. I shook my head and continued gathering clothes I would actually wear as she slipped the condoms down the side of my suitcase.

We boarded the plane at 10am the next morning. Most of the players were dressed in business wear carrying smaller suitcases. I silently praised myself for wearing my normal game wear instead of the tempting yoga pants I had considered. My suitcase on the other hand was far bigger than the rest, it was also the only pink one boarded on the plane.  
"You pack for monthlong adventure?" Evgeni teased when I arrived at our private terminal  
"It takes a lot of work to look this good," I laughed.  
"You pack dancing shoes? We show you the best clubs in all cities." He leaned against the wall next to me.  
"You're going to go to a night club in Philly?" I asked raising one eyebrow. As a Flyers fan I was well aware of the rivalry between the two teams. Although the city wasn't as dangerous as its reputation would lead one to believe.  
"I show you night of your life," he winked. Before I could respond Sidney joined us, he was wearing a light blue dress shirt and dark grey slacks, his hair was in its usual tousled state, but he looked more attractive than ever.  
"Sid!" Geno greeted him. "I tell Bea all about plan to show her town." He explained.  
"Oh yeah?" Sid chuckled. "How does Beatrice feel about that?" He turned to me smiling, my stomach fluttered.  
"I was just about to tell Geno that I could probably show him a thing or two about Philly." I replied, smirking. "I lived there for awhile, my brother is still there actually."  
"Oh no!" Geno gasped. "You not Flyers fan?" He glared at me, eyes narrowing. I kept my mouth shut and smiled at both of them.  
"That's unfortunate," Sid laughed. "But I guess we'll just have to show you who is the better team tonight."  
"So not sexy," Geno scolded me.  
I smiled and took in the two large men standing infront of me. It was going to be an interesting week.


	5. Chapter 5

When I got on the plane I felt like youtube sensation and all around mindfuck Rebecca Black. Which seat should I take? Was I supposed to stay away from the team? Or would it be rude to sit at the back of the plane? Luckily, Larry was already seated and waiting for me to join him. I settled into the aisle seat and put my carryon bag at my feet.

"What do we usually do on flights?" I asked Larry, carefully keeping my voice at an audible whisper.

"The coaches go over game strategy. some players read, some play video games, I usually fall asleep but sometimes will join the livelier conversations," he whispered back. "You can do what ever you usually do on flights."

I pulled out my iPod and oversized headphones from my carryon, thankful that I could spend the flight relaxing. I slipped the headphones on, half expecting an air hostess to come by and tell me to put it away. Scrolling through the song list for a few seconds I tapped to play Dave Grohl's acoustic version of Walk. I closed my eyes and felt the plane's rumbling engine as we took off. After a few minutes in the air, Larry climbed over me to join the coaches. I figured I might as well make myself comfortable and pushed the armrest between the two seats up, after undoing my seatbelt I slid over to the seat Larry had been in and with my back resting against the wall I spread my legs out across my own seat. I closed my eyes again and listened to the new song playing through my headphones. Less than five minutes after I'd moved I felt someone touch my leg. I pulled off my head phones and opened my eyes startled. Sid stood in front of me waiting for my response to a question I hadn't heard.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" I asked looking up at him.

"I asked what you were listening to," he smiled warmly.

"Oh," I smiled and looked at my iPod to check, I hadn't exactly been paying attention to the music. "Mac Miller," I replied.

"You listen to rap?" He looked surprised.

"I listen to a lot of things," I smirked, trying to look slightly seductive.

"Can I sit?" He motioned to the seat under my feet. I moved my feet, and sat cross-legged facing him still, he sat down, shifting his body towards me.

"You don't want to sit with your friends?" I wrapped the cord of my headphones around my iPod and put them both in the pocket of the seat in front of mine.

"You looked lonely over here," He shrugged, smiling again and making my stomach flutter. "So how long did you live in Philly for?"

"A little less than a year, but I've spent a lot of time there,"

"Right, you said your brother lives there. How did you end up in Pittsburgh?"

"After I graduated I didn't want to move back to Philly." I took a deep breath "messy break up," I smiled, trying to keep our conversation light. I had no idea why I said that, and hoped he wouldn't ask questions.

"Well I'm glad you chose Pittsburgh," he placed his hand on my leg, "It's nice to have a female on the team." His touch was electric and thousands of goosebumps erupted all over my body.

"Me too," my voice shook slightly, I had't been so attracted to someone since Millie. I'd been with people since, but no one who made me feel like this, like my senses were on overdrive.

"You're coming out after the game, right?" His hand stayed on my leg, my cheeks were getting warmer and warmer.

"I might," I tried to remain cool. "I was hoping to see my brother."

"Bring him," he smiled again. "Actually, if he wants we can leave comp tickets for him at the door."

"Even if he's a Flyers fan?" I joked.

"We can fix that," He chuckled.

"Good luck," I laughed, he moved his hand from my leg and ran it through his hair. I felt a loss at the absence of his touch.

"Did you say you were from PEI?" He asked, changing the subject.

"You ask a lot of questions, Crosby." I tried to cock one of my eyebrows up but failed miserably. I noticed him blushing slightly, which in turn made me blush again. "I did say that, yeah," my voice softened looking at his reddened face.

"That's really cool," he turned his body to face me even more, his left knee resting on my seat. "I'm from Scotia."

"I know," I looked at him amused. "I like Maritime boys," I winked,

An hour until puck drop, we'd already checked into our hotels and were in the visitors locker room of the Wells Fargo Center. It was all a bit surreal and I tried not to think of it as a Flyers game. It was just a game like any other. I was part of the Penguins staff and therefore had no interest in any other team. Easier said than done. I sat in the dressing room while the guys got ready to take the ice. They walked around in various states of undress, all strong, well built and full of enthusiasm. For the most part I was able to ignore their seminudity, focus on their faces when they talked to me.

"You better cheer for pens!" Geno called from across the room. I glared at him, I didn't need the whole team knowing I was a Flyers fan.

"Ugh, Bea, gross," Marc-Andre shook his head in my direction. "I thought you were better than that."

"If you guys kick some ass we won't have any problems," I smirked.

"Don't worry guys," Sid walked over to me, we was wearing tight spandex Under Armor that clung to his muscles, I shivered involuntarily. He sat down and put his arm around my shoulder. My body was electric again, his heavy arm pulled me closer to him, he smelt faintly of sweat and cologne. "Bea's a smart girl, she knows who the better team is."

The game was lively and passionate. Two of NHL's biggest rivals were head to head less than 5 feet in front of me. It was no surprise when Scott Hartnell and Deryk Engelland squared off at centre ice. Punches were thrown while the crowd went wild and the players beat their sticks against the boards. Five for fighting a piece and the scoreboard said 2-1 Flyers. Andrew's seat was right behind our bench, every so often I'd look back at him and smile, clad in his Winter Classic Giroux jersey he was having the time of his life. Crosby's goal tied the game and we went into the third on even ground. More than a few fights, but no serious injuries, it was anyone's game. Malkin's goal and the Penguins were in the lead with 5 left in the game. The seconds ticked by, interrupted by commercial breaks and icing class, I watched anxiously. I wanted them to win, I didn't to spend the night celebrating, I was imagining the celebration when time went out and the buzzer sounded. Pittsburgh won 3-2 and the boys cheered, hugging each other and making their way off the ice.

Andrew met us in the corral after everyone had changed. The corral was where the visiting team boarded the bus and occasionally met with fans. I breathed I sigh of relief when Andrew walked in carrying his jersey instead of wearing it. He made his way over to me and pulled me into a tight hug.

"That was one hell of a game!" He said into my hair, still hugging me.

"I'm glad you could come," I smiled letting go of him.

"I can't believe you're working for an NHL team," he looked me up and down smirking. "I always knew you'd make it in the big leagues somehow." He threw his arm around my shoulder effortlessly, standing half a foot taller than me he seemed to tower over me.

The boys came out of the dressing room to greet the small crowd that had formed. Andrew and I were discussing his band's new album when Sidney walked up to us.

"You must be Andrew," he held out his hand, my brother took it in his and smiled. "I'm Sidney," he said as if his name wasn't known in every hockey loving house hold around the world.

"Nice me too you man, thanks for the ticket," Andrew said as they let go of each other's hands.

"No problem, glad you could make it," Sid looked like something out of GQ magazine, he stood next to me in a perfectly tailored grey suit with a purple dress shirt and black tie. His pants were tight around his legs and bum. I tried not to stare as I looked him up and down.

"We have to get on the bus," Sid put his hand on my shoulder. "But it was great meeting you," he smiled at Andrew and walked towards the bus.

I hugged my brother again and told him to text me if he could come out with us. He said he had some work to do but I hoped he'd change his mind. He kissed the top of my head and told me how proud he was, I let go and got on the bus with the rest of the team.

As the only female member of the team I got my own hotel room. I'd expected that I'd be sharing with Larry but Dan told me it was only right that I get my own space. When I walked in the room I kicked off my shoes and pulled off my shirt as soon as the door closed. I had half an hour to get ready to go out and no time to waste. I slipped out of my pants and zipped open my suitcase, searching for the perfect outfit. I considered jeans but remembered Serena's addition to my packing list and pulled out the black dress. There was no way I would ever admit it to her, but at that moment was thankful she'd slipped it in. I grabbed the underwear she'd thrown in and went to the bathroom to get ready. In record time I'd gotten dressed, pulled my hair down from it's bun to find it in soft curls presentable curls, and applied just enough makeup. I was grabbing my purse and slipping on my shoes when Geno and Marc-Andre banged on my door.

"Shit!" Geno hissed when I opened the door and stood in front of him wearing the tight black dress, red heels and matching lipstick.

"Damn girl!" Marc laughed. I spun around showing them my outfit and laughed at their shocked reactions.

The club was loud and fill of energy when we walked in. Bass thumping and crowds of people packed onto the dance floor. Sid and Marc went to find a table while the rest of us headed up to the bar. I ordered a Jack and Coke and headed to the table. Geno and Beau Bennett had found a group of girl and were practicing their off ice moves. I slid into the booth next to Sid and took a sip of my drink. He stretched his arm out on the back of my seat and smiled at me.

"You look beautiful," He leaned down and whispered in my hear, his breath hot against the side of my face. I started blushing again.

"Thank you," I smiled up at him and moved closer to his body. Across from us Marc was texting someone and smiling.

"Max is coming," he grinned at Sid and I. I looked at Sid confused.

"Talbot," he clarified. I nodded in approval and finished my drink. I was enjoying sitting in such close proximity to Sidney and looking forward to meeting one of my favourite Flyers when I saw her from the corner of my eye.

She was wearing tight jeans that hung low on her hips and a black shirt that showed her curves perfectly. Her curly red hair was swept off her face with clips and her eyes were lined with black makeup. My heart sped up and my stomach flip flopped when I saw her. I silently prayed that she wouldn't notice me. I knew I was out of luck when she turned and headed towards us. My body tensed up and I sat up straighter.

"Trix!" She cried, sliding into the booth next to me. Marc and Sid looked at me confused.

"Millie," I smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm great," she leaned in and hugged me politely. "I thought you moved to Pittsburgh," she looked at me confused, obviously not recognizing either of the men I was sitting with.

"I did," I responded, smiling. "I'm just visiting." I purposely left out the part about working for one of the biggest NHL franchises.

"It's great to see you, I've missed you," she placed her hand on my leg. My body tensed up more.

"Yeah," I managed to say nervously.

"Can I buy you a drink?" She looked at me suggestively. I held my breath trying to think of an excuse. I couldn't go down that road again.

"Actually Bea, our cab is here," Sid interrupted. "We should get going."

Millie looked at me disappointed and slipped out of the booth. "Another time," she smiled at us and walked away.

Outside, Sidney and I made our way back to the hotel. It was only a few blocks from the club and the crisp air felt good against my skin.

"Thank you," I grinned at him.

"No problem, you looked like you needed an out."

"I'm sorry you had to leave," I said, we were a few feet from the front doors.

"It's fine, I'm really not into the club scene." He opened the door and held it, letting me go in ahead of him. The elevator was waiting for us and we made idle chit chat on the way up, not exactly saying anything, but filling the awkward silence that hung in the air. When we reached the 15th floor I considered inviting him back to my room, but before I could say anything he turned in the opposite direction of my suite and said goodnight.

In my hotel room I pulled off my dress, kicked off my shoes and slumped onto the bed. I wasn't in the mood to be alone. I'd been looking forward to a night out, but I knew it was safer that I not be around Millie, especially not when I was drinking. We'd been broken up for a long time, and logically I knew that was best, but in times of loneliness I still yearned for her, craved the affection and human connection. I crawled under the covers of my bed and reached for the remote. I flicked the on the TV and clicked through the channels, stopping on ESPN where the highlights of that night's Pens/Flyers game were playing. I watching Sid's face on the screen as he celebrated his goal and skate back to the bench. I could see myself in the corner of the screen, a strange sensation washed over me. I was part of a new world, something I'd only ever dreamed of. I felt my throat tighten for no particular reason. I felt alone in my empty room. So used to having Serena and Luna around I'd forgotten what it was like to be completely alone in a room. Maybe it was the letdown of the club or my confusing feeling for Sidney but I couldn't stop the tears from dripping down my face. I wondered if I should have gone with Millie, just to have one night of connection with someone else. I reached for my phone, half tempted to call Millie and tell her where my hotel was. Instead I tapped the first name under favorites.

"Bea?" Serena answered. "What's up? I thought you were out with the guys."

"I was," I choked out, still crying.

"Woah, what happened?" She asked, her voice thick with worry.

"I saw her," I sniffled. "And Sid walked me back but we went to our separate rooms, and I've had a few drinks, and I'm lonely." I'd only had one drink, but I wasn't much of a drinker.

"I'm glad you called me instead of going home with her," Serena added her voice optimistic.

"I am too." I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Sometimes I really miss her, and I think I like him. But I look at the girls that they talk to, and I'm just not like them." I looked down and my colourful arms and my gapless thighs.

"I know you like him, and those other girls..." she stopped. "Those other girls are nothing compared to you. You're right, you're not like them, you're smart and you're your own person. Most of those girls are just in it to say they've been with a pro athlete."

"I don't care that he's a hockey player," I sobbed. "He's so kind and beautiful and I have no idea why I'm crying right now." I laughed, my ability to laugh and cry at the same time causing Serena to laugh.

"I know. But you have whole season ahead of you where you can get to know each other better. This is just the beginning. And I can't predict anything but neither can you. You don't know what he's thinking. Maybe he's having this same conversation with one of the guys." My best friend's words were comforting and pulled me back to reality.

"I love you." I mumbled, wrapping myself tighter in the blankets.

"I love you too, Bea. Now, go wash your face, get a glass of water and get some sleep, this will all feel better in the morning. Call me when you get to New York."

We said our goodbyes and I dutifully went to the bathroom to take my smudged makeup off. I was filling the glass next the sink when I heard a knock on the door. I was standing in my black lace push-up bra and matching underwear, my hair a mess, left over make up still around my eyes. I grabbed the robe from the hook on the wall behind me and went to the door. I wasn't expecting anyone, but I assumed that a drunk Geno was on the other side, wondering why I'd left so early. I unlocked the security chain and opened the door to find Sidney standing in front of me. Tall, broad, wearing the same dark jeans he'd been wearing at the club and a white t-shirt. I looked up at him, his hair ruffled, smiling, wrinkles next to his eyes. I shivered for the hundredth time that night and felt a corse of electricity run through my body.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hi," he looked down at me smiling, his tall body leaning against the doorframe. "I wanted to see if you were alright."

"Thank you,"I pulled my robe tighter around me and opened the door wider to let him in.

"You don't have to tell me, but I'll listen if you want to." He slipped off his shoes and moved past me, sitting on the edge of my unmade bed. I closed the door and turned off the bathroom light.

"I don't really know what to say," I admitted, sitting down next to him, resting my back against the wall.

"That's okay," he smiled reassuringly and placed his hand on my leg. "I just didn't want you to be alone."

"That's really sweet," I placed my hand on top of his. "I really appreciate it."

"Truthfully, I didn't really want to be alone either," he admitted, looking down at his feet. "I like the company of other people," he looked back up at me, his big brown eyes and full lips bewitching me.

"I do too," I said quietly, I couldn't coax any sort of intelligent response out of my mouth, I was too captivated by his presence in front of me, sitting on my bed.

"So I take it that was an ex?" He asked, I moved my hand from his to pull the top of my robe tighter, it had fallen open, revealing the tops of my breasts and a hint of black lace.

"We were together for four years," I responded. He had moved his hand from my leg and was holding his hands in his lap. "We don't really talk anymore." I was still fixated on his lips, unsure of what to say. I didn't want to get into it, I didn't want to rehash my past to someone I wanted so desperately to be in my future.

"That's rough," he was looking directly at me, as the words tumbled quietly from his mouth.

"I'm okay with it," I didn't take my eyes of him, I couldn't risk losing his gaze. "We have different lives now."

"Do you like your new life with the team?" He asked, our eyes were locked.

"I do," my heart was beating faster than it had in a long time. My stomach was trembling and I could feel the heat between my legs. I moved towards him slightly.

"Good," his voice was low and breathy. He moved towards me, his hands on the bed in front of me.

"Yeah," my voice was just as quiet, my body too preoccupied with the intense attraction to worry about producing full sounds. He moved closer towards me and I inched nearer to him.

"We want you to feel welcome," He was still staring at me, I remained fixated on him, we were still about a foot away from each other. I bit my lip, tempting him to come closer, to make the move we both wanted. My hands were shaky and I couldn't fully catch my breath.

I was about to respond when he closed the gap between us and put his right hand on my cheek, guiding my face towards him. His lips pressed against mine, I placed my shaking hands on his chest and leaned in closer to him. His lips moved slowly, taking my bottom lip between his as he wrapped his arms around me, resting his hands on my lower back.

Before I can fully grasp what is happening, he's pulled me onto his lap, my robe slipping off of my shoulder while my arms wrap themselves around his neck. He's kissing me harder now, his tongue running along my bottom lip. I open my mouth slightly, pulling us deeper into each other, our tongues gently brushing against one another His hand moves from my back under the fabric of my robe and delicately grazes my side. I shiver under his touch, skin on skin contact intoxicating my senses. He moves his hand up my side and cups my breast, I moan softly and pull myself even closer to him. The fingers of his right hand massage my lace covered breast as his left hand makes its way to the belt of my robe. I snake my hands up into his hair, he pulls one end of the belt, undoing the bow I had haphazardly tied when he knocked on the door. The robe slips further down my shoulders and I move my hands from his hair just long enough for it fall off of my body completely. He pulls his lips from mine to look at my body, barely clothed and begging for his attention. He grins and me, his eyes shining with anticipation and runs his hands along my abdomen.

"Fuck," he whispers before I capture his lips with mine. His hands slip under my bra, completely engulfing my breasts. His fingers find my nipples and his lips move from mine to my neck. I moan breathlessly as he nips the sensitive skin on the side of my neck. I grind my pelvis into his, feeling the affects of his arousal under his jeans. I push my hands under his shirt, feeling his tight core muscles under my fingers. I move my hands up, motioning for him to take his shirt off. He breaks our contact for only a second while I pull it over his head, and quickly returns his attention to my lips. My hands on his chest I push him gently, suggesting we lay down. He takes my hint and falls back onto the soft bed, taking me with him. His firm hands move to my back and his fingers trying to unhook my bra. I move my hips, grinding against his prominent erection. He groans approvingly, his deep voice vibrating in his throat. The friction driving us both wild. I reach behind him to unclasp my bra, letting it fall down my arms and throwing to the side. His lips make their way back down my neck and to my now exposed breasts, devouring them with a sense of urgency. His thumbs and fingers lightly tweaking my already hardened nipples, while his lips kiss and nip at my pale exposed skin.

Our breathing is heavy as he pulls his lips from my breasts and flips me onto my back, his hands now bracing his body weight above me. He stares down at me, his eye clouded with lust. I reach down to the button of his jeans as he moves his lips back to their rightful position on mine. In and easy motion and undo the button and pull down the zipper, wrapping my legs around his hips and pushing the heavy fabric down with my feet. He lowered himself closer to me, his stiff erection pressing against my wet core, his boxer briefs and my lace underwear the only things separating us. I whimper as he pushes harder against me, the friction against my clit sending waves of pleasure through me. I dig my nails into his back lightly, drawing his lips closer to mine. I don't know how much more I can handle, my body is aching for him, my centre throbbing and begging for his touch. He rolls to his side, taking me with him, our lips never separating from each other. He runs his hand down my stomach and stops above my hips, softly tracing the tips of his fingers along the edge of my underwear. I want him desperately, I want him completely. My skin is flushed and on fire under his touch, he pushes his hand under the fabric of my underwear and creeps down closer and closer to my pulsating clit. My body cries waiting for his touch but my mind starts spinning. I wonder how many girls he has done this with, and how this will effect my job. I want to be with him, I want his hands all over me. My mind races back to my conversation with Serena. I don't want to be one of those girls who takes the opportunity just to say she's slept with a hockey player. I had no problem with women who had one night stands, but that wasn't me. I needed more from him. I broke our kiss and pushed him away. He looked and me hurt, pulling his hand out from between my legs.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, his voice husky and low.

"I'm sorry," I get up, leaving him half naked on the bed and hastily make my way to the bathroom. Humiliation floods over me. When he kissed me I was so overwhelmed by desire I didn't think about our real lives. Our jobs, my emotional state. I slid against the back of the door to the floor. I sat with my head in my hands, my bare skin goose-bumped from the cold air.

"Beatrice?" He knocked softly on the door. I groaned, too embarrassed to face him. "Can you open the door?" I didn't move. "I'm sorry if I pushed you too far," he pleaded with me, his voice was thick with worry and guilt. "Can we talk about it? I really don't want to leave you here."

I sighed and got up from the floor. I was going to have to face him eventually and the longer I sat on the floor the worse it was going to be. I covered my exposed breasts with one arm and unlocked the door, quickly folding my other arm over them too before he opened the door. "Okay," I called to him softly.

He opened the door and stood in front of me still in his boxer briefs. His hair was rumpled from my hands and his face was flushed. I'd seen him shirtless more than once, but still couldn't get over his bare chest as he stood in front of me. "I'm sorry," he looked at me with sad eyes.

"You didn't do anything," I shook my head embarrassed. "This is my problem." His erection was fading, but still prominent under the tight fabric of his underwear. His face was still concerned, I could tell he didn't believe me. "I promise," I reassured him.

Sidney opened his broad arms, ushering me towards him. I pressed my body against his, my bare chest against his, our arms around each other. My head fit under his chin as he held me close to him, his strong body holding me together. I sighed, letting myself relax and take in the feeling of our skin on skin contact. His groin against my stomach I could feel his erection returning to its former state. I laughed and looked up at him.

"Really?" I giggled.

He looked at me amused. "You're not wearing a shirt," he smirked.

We made our way back to the bed and crawled under the covers. I'd put on a shirt, but was more than pleased when he opted to stay in his boxers. He could tell I didn't want to be alone and flicked on the TV while we lay in bed. I'd made it clear that I didn't want to talk about it and I snuggled against him, his arms wrapped around me, cradling me from behind. The steady rhythm of his breathing lulling me into a comfortable dreamworld, I drifted off to sleep as EPSN played the highlights from the game earlier that night for the third time.


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up the next morning with Sidney's arm draped over my shoulder. Panic washed over me at the sight of his bare upper body. While I didn't regret the more intimate moments of our night together, I did't know how I'd face him after I'd locked myself in the bathroom the minute his fingers slid south of my bellybutton. The clock beside me read 7:05am, we weren't excepted on the bus until 9:00am and he'd mentioned as we were falling asleep that he didn't plan to wakeup until 8:00am and the earliest. With only fifty-five minutes to make a clean escape I crept out of bed, careful not to wake him and headed for the shower. It took 15 minutes for me to shower and chastise myself for my actions the night before and 5 minutes to get dressed. I didn't bother drying my hair, fearing that the noise from the blowdryer would wake him up, and my makeup was kept to the bare minimum. I tiptoed around the room packing my belongings in my pink suitcase and thanking a higher power that I hadn't bothered to unpack anything. With twenty minutes to spare I slipped out of my quiet hotel room, leaving Sid fast asleep in my bed.

I made my way down to the hotel restaurant and found a table off to the side of the room. Not even five minutes after I'd ordered a pot of tea and pulled out my well worn copy of Nabokov's Lolita, Pascal and Dan walked into the half empty room. Noticing me, they made their way over to my table for four and sat down across from me. We made small talk as we ate our breakfast and by the time I was finished most of the patrons in the restaurant were Penguins.  
Determined to avoid Sidney, I made an excuse about needing to find a drugstore and left my suitcase to be loaded onto the bus. I found a store less than a block away and figured I would hide out until the very last minute, or at least until most of the team had boarded and I'd be forced to sit with the coaches. Wandering the aisles of the conveniently placed drug store I tried to find something I could buy to make my emergency trip look legitimate. After leafing through the latest edition of Cosmopolitan and scoffing at the ridiculousness of the articles inside I settled on a pack of gum, some Jolly Ranchers and a small box to tampons. I didn't expect that anyone would question my trip, but I figured buying something so inherently feminine would prevent any questions.

My plan worked and in no time we were on the plane headed for New York. I'd managed to avoid Sid rather successfully by busying myself with a string of nonsensical questions for Larry. I claimed I wanted to make sure I was doing everything correctly, when in reality I wanted to avoid a conversation with Sid that may lead to the whole team knowing I was nearly doing him last night. My luck dissipated as I ran out of questions and was forced to sit alone while Larry joined the coaches in what seemed to be a lively conversation about the mechanical function of go carts. I plugged into my iPod in hopes I could soothe my confused soul with Lucy Schwartz's melancholy lyrics, and the written words of Vladimir Nabokov. While I tried to preoccupy myself with the disturbing tale of Humbert Humbert and his attraction to young Delores Haze, I found myself reading the same line repeatedly as my mind drifted off to memories of the night before. I had all but given up on reading when Sidney slid casually into the seat beside me. I calmly took off my headphones and put my book away.  
"I don't know how you feel about last night. Probably because you left me in a hotel room this morning. But I want you to know that I don't regret any of it." He said looking me dead in the eyes. "This doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to. And if you don't want to talk about it ever again I will respect that." He continued before I could say anything. "Just don't avoid me." His eyes were wide and reminding me exactly why I had kissed him the night before.  
"I don't regret it," I responded calmly. The statement mostly true, I didn't regret being with him, I regretted pushing him away and locking myself in a room.  
"Then enlighten me, Bea," his tone was slightly pleading. "I don't understand you, I want to, but every time I think I have a handle on who you are, you surprise me."  
I smiled to myself, he wasn't the first person to suggest I was hard to read. All my life I'd been told my complexities and shifting moods were what pushed people away. A string of failed relationships and forgotten friends in my past, I was well aware that I wasn't the easiest of people to understand.  
"Kaleidoscope," I murmured quietly to myself. My first boyfriend had coined the comparison of my shifting moods and interests to the colourful toy. I preferred to think of it as fluidity. I wasn't confined to one set of socially accepted behaviors and reactions. In a world of such diversity I couldn't comprehend restricting myself in anyway.  
"What?" Sidney asked, placing his hand gently on my knee.  
"Nothing," I smiled, enjoying the warmth of his touch.  
"Last night, you promised I hadn't done anything to upset you..." he shifted closer to me, keeping his voice low and the conversation ours.  
"You didn't," my eye were still locked on his, trapped in his gaze. I placed my hand gingerly on his and turned my gaze downward. "I'm not okay with being an impulse decision," I stated, slightly taken aback by my own straightforwardness. "I'm over being someone's good time girl and I didn't want to go too far only to be disappointed." There was something in his presence that surrounded me with comfort and the confidence to speak honestly. I had never been someone who avoided the truth, but I was very careful about how and when I revealed parts of myself to those around me.  
He looked at me confused, his brow knit tightly in a frown. "You, Beatrice Keller," He took my hand in his and moved to meet my eye level, "could never be a good time girl."


End file.
